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Cynicopedia
Work & AmbitionBafflegab

Star Candidate

star KAN-dih-datnoun

DiagnosisAcute, resolves on hiring

What it means

A hiring term that promises a performer rather than a colleague, and reliably attracts people who will degrade the codebase and dominate the room.

What it actually means

We want somebody difficult, and we are calling it talent.

How it is used in a sentence

"We're looking for a rockstar candidate to own the platform."

Filed under

Work & Ambition — Everything your employer calls a benefit and your therapist calls a symptom.

Bafflegab — The phrase means nothing. We are ridiculing it.


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Digital Existentialism

ten-eks en-juh-NEERnounBafflegab

A developer whose output is ten times that of a colleague, measured in code that everyone else would rather have less of.

Real meaning

A person who is difficult in meetings.

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KUL-cher fitnounEuphemism

A hiring criterion that reliably selects for people who resemble the people already there.

Real meaning

We want someone we would get a drink with.