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Cynicopedia
Work & AmbitionEuphemism

Team Offsite

teem OF-sytnoun

What it means

A compulsory trip in which you are asked to disclose your authentic self to the people who will evaluate your performance.

What it actually means

We have taken your weekend and given you a lanyard.

How it is used in a sentence

"The offsite was actually really valuable, I think."

Filed under

Work & Ambition — Everything your employer calls a benefit and your therapist calls a symptom.

Euphemism — The phrase hides something specific. We decode it.


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Related entries

Mandatory Fun

Work & Ambition

MAN-duh-tor-ee funnounEuphemism

A team activity whose attendance is tracked.

Real meaning

You will be there, and you will smile.

Team Building

Work & Ambition

teem BIL-dingnounBafflegab

The practice of solving interpersonal problems by making everyone fall backwards into each other.

Real meaning

We are not addressing the actual conflict.