Asynchronous Friendship
ay-SING-kruh-nus FREND-shipnoun
DiagnosisProgressive, usually terminal
What it means
A friendship maintained entirely through reactions, shared links and delayed replies, in which both parties are aware it has stopped but neither will say so.
What it actually means
We still like each other, and we have stopped speaking.
How it is used in a sentence
"We're not not friends. It's become an asynchronous friendship."
Filed under
Social Dynamics — The unwritten rules we invented online and now enforce in public without irony.
Coinage — There was no phrase for this. We supplied one.
Related entries
The Group Chat
Social Dynamicsthuh groop chatnounDiagnosis
A private court that convenes without you, reviews your behaviour, and reaches a verdict you will feel before you hear.
Real meaningYour reputation is decided by people who are not in the room with you.
Parasocial
Social Dynamicspair-uh-SOH-shuladjectiveDiagnosis
Describes a relationship in which one party has no knowledge of the other and both have strong opinions.
Real meaningI feel like I know them.