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Cynicopedia
Work & AmbitionEuphemism

Wellness Programme

WEL-nis PROH-gramnoun

What it means

A subsidised gym membership and a mindfulness app, priced into your benefits, offered in place of a workload you could survive.

What it actually means

Here is a coping mechanism instead of a solution.

How it is used in a sentence

"Take advantage of the wellness programme, that's what it's there for."

Filed under

Work & Ambition — Everything your employer calls a benefit and your therapist calls a symptom.

Euphemism — The phrase hides something specific. We decode it.


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Related entries

Pizza Party

Work & Ambition

PEET-suh PAR-teenounEuphemism

A gesture of corporate gratitude, priced per person, offered in lieu of a raise.

Real meaning

Here is $6 of food instead of the money.

Mental Health Day

Work & Ambition

MEN-tul helth daynounEuphemism

A day of leave offered by an employer to manage a condition that the same employer's working practices are helping to manufacture.

Real meaning

Rest, but we would like credit for it.