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Cynicopedia
Work & AmbitionEuphemism

Performance Improvement Plan

per-FOR-muns im-PROOV-munt plannoun

What it means

A document that opens the legal process of removing you while describing itself as support.

What it actually means

Sign it, then start looking.

How it is used in a sentence

"He's on a PIP, so he'll be gone by spring."

Filed under

Work & Ambition — Everything your employer calls a benefit and your therapist calls a symptom.

Euphemism — The phrase hides something specific. We decode it.


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Related entries

Quiet Firing

Work & Ambition

KWY-it FY-ringnounDiagnosis

The practice of removing an employee by making their job unbearable and then waiting.

Real meaning

We would rather you quit than pay severance.

Performance Review

Work & Ambition

per-FOR-muns rih-VYOOnounEuphemism

An annual ritual in which your manager reads aloud a document written about you, in the third person, months ago.

Real meaning

Here is a verdict you cannot appeal.